• Cops on crime drama: We caught the killer!
  • Me: Not with 35 minutes left you haven't.

tockthewatchdog:

mattheuphonium:

kim-jong-chill:

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

fabulous 

i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.

neopats:

[mom voice] targé

(via tyleroakley)

Dom’s worth it…he’s just…he’s worth it.

radn:

catspring:

i don’t get why we need driver’s training. driving is just like mario kart except slower and you can’t throw blue shells at people

please never drive

(via existential-angst)

egberts:

warhammer-of-cillyhoo:

egberts:

egberts:

my mom finally bought a toaster

why did this get notes

we’re happy for you

its just a toaster

(via chaotician)